The Big Bad Racial Stereotype – Real Talk

17 thoughts on “ The Big Bad Racial Stereotype – Real Talk”

    1. Thanks to a Mom aware enough to want a full and joyful life for her boys. This is so so important, you might not ever know how much.

      Kind thanks also for the encouragement.

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      1. Yet she married a white man. Clearly she believes asian men aren’t attractive
        You can never believe a asian women who marries a whitr guy who tries to speak for us.

        But hey at least she’s not self hating, or else well see more eillot Rodgers.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think honestly Asian guys should pretty much trust other Asian guys (in terms of a default position) and then look to other potentially distorting motives whereas with persons from other demographics, I tend to start neutrally and then look at any distorting motives (and intentions). I’m hoping this makes sense to you.

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  1. @Jack I really think you should consider writing a guest post. You have some good questions that, even if we don’t know the answers to, should be posed to the public.

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  2. ….”Many Asian women participated in it, trading some dignity to get some acceptance.”

    ….”The saddest part is that the Asian woman has no idea that she is being racially humiliated when she supports the stereotype. I feel sorry for her family… her friends too… okay, I feel sorry for her. Waking up from the colonial dream can be unpleasant.”

    I know an Asian woman that had a boyfriend who treated her like a sex object. He even got drunk during a family and friend’s pool party and proudly proclaimed that “She is great at sex!”.

    ….”People tend to support those claims which profit them, here in mate selection and social standing.”

    This rings so true, how do we stop this though? We can’t really control what other people think, we can only influence it. My solution so far has been to pursue what I want and to not give a fuck. I think it scares people when a person gets out of the box that society puts the person in.

    Quite honestly, sometimes it even comes from our fellow Asians. I took this girl, really great personality and she happened to be white, out to a Japanese restaurant and we got a lot of stares. The waiter even gave me a surprised look and a smirk.

    When I told my friends that I took a blonde girl out they either didn’t want to believe me or told me that I was going to flop. Almost like they didn’t want me to be happy – I felt so alone and isolated after hearing that from them. Who needs friends when you have frenemies right?
    FYI, I don’t discriminate or prefer one ethnicity to another. I’ve dated across the spectrum and consider personality, values, and character the most. It is quite a shame that Asian men, or any men of a different ethnic origin are typecasted.

    There is a great movie on Netflix called Don Jon. It shows what love actually looks like compared to how a male and female typically perceive it to be. I know I am generalizing here but men typically see the woman as a conquest and expect love and sex to be like a porno. Women ALSO typically see men as a conquest and expect love and sex to be like a romantic comedy.

    People that view love and sex this way set unrealistic expectations and shortchange themselves from something worthwhile.I wonder if they’ll ever make a movie like this as it pertains to ethnicity. I think the closest one that I’ve seen is Save the Last Dance.

    How about us Asian guys though?

    I’m calling for a movie with John Cho or Daniel Dae Kim with a theme similar to Don Jon and Save the Last Dance. Would definitely help fund that one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is insightful, and I wish I had an answer to your question about how to change a the racially discriminatory experience of dating as an Asian male.
      I think it’s important to point out first many Asian American women are victimized by the dominant white and male cultures but in the entirely different way. I think Asian American men have every right to feel the way many do. So many men, me included, suffer this additional social sexual violence. Still, blame isn’t properly shifted to the women who enter into a hostile construct as well.
      Maybe the problem lies with the way we divvy people up and put them in a bucket without looking at history because it’s politically expedient?
      Regardless, I applaud your social courage because you’re doing what ever the fuck you want. I’m down with that. However, as I do this too, I hope you are as lucky as I have been in meeting supportive friends. They help restore the lost human connection we also need.

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    1. Not the pie filling in a can, but the powdered stuff (Dr. Oetker, Lemon Pie Fil)nigl. . . I have an extra pack and would love to make lemon chicken, would this work? Any recipes?.

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  3. Huh. I think my girlfriends and I must be prudes. We’re white and we never talked dick size, not even in our dirtiest conversations. We’d talk about all sort of other preferences, though. I’ve got one friend who is even taller than I am, yet she loved short, dark, and fuzzy guys. She married a tall and fair guy, and he’s still nervous about her known previous predilection. So she takes me to all the Hugh Jackman moves instead.

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      1. I don’t know my height anymore! I started shrinking and now I’m afraid to look until I stretch my spine out with more yoga.

        My friend is over 6 feet. We have the same shoe size. And you should always have at least one friend you can swap shoes with. Especially one who loves shoes. It’s like having an extra closet for formal events.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. What’s strange is that in the past 2 years, I’ve outgrown all but one pair of shoes and my slippers! It’s a growth spurt in my 30s? I’m gonna have to measure my height again soon, maybe I’ll hit the elusive 6′ mark.

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