(Note to the LGBTQ readers of my blog: I’ll be using heterosexual terms and norms here because I don’t know whether and to what extent the PUA culture or techniques are used or even applicable in the LGBTQ community. It would be cool if people left comments educating me with their experiences and knowledge.)
What Is “Pick Up Artistry” (PUA) and “Game”
The culture of pick up artistry (PUA) and “having game,” (the relative ability of a man to convince, persuade, or otherwise manipulate a woman into having sex with him) has a lot of fans. The fans are typically men who have learned the systematized social behavior that results in them having sex.
And in behavioral economic terms, it can be an efficient way to have sex. I’m willing to bet that there are quite a number of men who had a poor or virtually nonexistent sex life before they learned this systematized approach. I’m not against them. They should be getting these sexual experiences, it’s not bad thing. It’s a good thing. Sex is a good thing. But the way you go about getting to sex, that’s an important thing too.
A strictly PUA approach to meeting women is awkwardly mechanical – insincere at best and often downright offensive. It breaks down like this: (1) PUA selects his target woman, (2) gathers sufficient data to determine the flow chart or matrix of techniques he needs to use and (3) executes a series of techniques the order of which is determined by the output of preceding technique.
Output. That I could even characterize a person’s words, thoughts, feelings, and responses this way let me know that the woman has already been depersonalized. The PUA methods can and are executed with disregard to the woman’s personality except to the extent that it would negatively impact the chance for the man to stick his dick in her pussy later. Ignoring every other part of the woman’s personality is the behavioral efficient thing to do when using a pickup-game-driven approach.
You see, as soon as a PUA believes he cannot have sex with his target woman, any extra time he spends with her is wasted. Other than getting access to the woman’s body there doesn’t seem to be much concern or curiosity for her. This fact is made more evident by the use of emotional exploitation approaches called “negging”.
The “Neg” or “Negging”
The “techniques” I find offensive are in the “neg” category. These typically feature some engagement, followed by a behavior which essentially causes anxiety or the types of emotional insecurities that lead some women into using sex as a way to alleviate those feelings or to feel validated as a woman. They range from simple snide remarks about parts of her life to more complicated calculated routlines.
For example, one suggestion from the PUA culture might be to target a woman, engage her in conversation, and then intentionally ignore her while displaying sexual attention to one of her nearby friends a friend who she’d likely assess is less atractive than her, returning attention to the targeted woman only to criticize an aspect of her looks or sex appeal.
None of this is decent or worthwhile interaction with a person. This set of techniques turns, otherwise likable guys, into a small army of critical assholes. PUA guys…
Do you have a sister, cousin, or any woman you care about in your life? Would you like it if men criticized her, demeaned her, embarrassed her to the point where she felt so bad that she allowed herself to be reduced to believing her value was that of her vagina?
Reaching for That Bottom Shelf
Robococks have no originality in personality, and they tend to pick up only one kind of woman and they have one kind of sexual experience. There is a huge difference between a woman who wants to have sex with you because you make her feel good and a woman who wants to be with you so she’ll feel less badly about herself.
Sure, there’s pussy at the end of the road for PUAs, but their “game” relies on a woman’s insecurity. It’s always going to be a bottom shelf experience. The problem is that we have a population in society which has an interest in keeping women feeling like lesser beings. That PUA population also has no idea about how to relate to half of the world, never feels intimacy, and never gains the experiences that make develop males into mature and decent men.
Using these PUA techniques as the basis for sexual or romantic interaction is kind of dating by attrition with little probability of gaining the actual skills and to attract a woman of quality.