Keepers of the Hidden Knowledge & Aficionados of the Fap
There are those among you who don’t just like to masturbate… You love to masturbate. You have a memory bank, a section set aside in your brain, specifically devoted to remembering real encounters to use for your private time. You’ve touched yourself in in all kinds of places, both geographically and bodily, many inappropriate… both geographically and bodily.
You’ve gone on until a hand cramped or gone on until a battery died. You’ve tried every toy or technique under the All Seeing Eye, even the inconvenient ones, because… well, it’s fun and feels good.
Don’t worry about how I know these things about you, the masturbatorati know many things. We’re partially coming out of hiding, though, to bring you previously occult power. In a modernizing effort, to identify each other in public, our secret society is switching over from the ancient finger languages to a wristband… a wristband of hidden power.