I predict this list gets considerably less attention than the Top 5 Sex Posts of 2015. Nonetheless, I wanted to share what other readers found interesting, and so I continue the 2015 BAP Blog retrospective in this “Top 5 Non-Sex Posts of 2015.
The first on this list is an early piece I wrote concerning a major motivation behind my speaking publicly, something I was initially hesitant to do. I believe that the flip side to the discussion dominated by insecure men and trolls is the relative silence of Asian men affected by the small penis stereotype.
Silence by Asian men was considered tacit agreement, an acquiescence to truth behind the racially motivated bigotry. This was error, and in my observation, caused largely by the cultural differences in masculine virtue. Boastfulness and immodesty are inconsistent with traditional notions of the ideal man in many Asian cultures.
As my mother taught me, a decent and “real man” does the right thing because it is right and seeking personal attention or notoriety is distasteful. The ideal man acts, while the lesser man talks about acting. Living in the U.S. and bridging the cultural divide is difficult, especially when another common ideal is family harmony and representing one’s house with dignity. This is something I continue to struggle with and no one in my family knows about my blogging life (at least not that I’m aware of).
I didn’t think I’d ever be swayed by Internet comments or ignorance, but there aren’t enough voices for the Asian American male. The Asian American, East Asian, or whomever – stereotype of the small penis is crazy, and so I just ignored it.
It’s absurd, I mean, if someone came up to me and said, “You don’t have nipples.” I’m not taking off my shirt. I’m probably trying to get away from you. Besides, I’m much too lazy to disrobe without a better reason.
I started this blog because I’m East Asian, and I thought my thoughts and experiences could contribute to the conversation. I have a big cock. It’s long, thick and heavy. Even for a tall guy.
My Life Philosophy
This was a surprise to me, seeing my life philosophy page as the second most frequently visited / hit page or post (in the non-sex category). I reveal one of the most resonant passages of personal reflection I have ever read by a favorite philosopher and scholar Bertrand Russell.
I have sought love, first because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness–that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss.
I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what–at last–I have found…
AMWF Relationships Represented by White Women Online
In spot number three is my post about the lack of Asian men writing their experiences publicly. Rather, in my survey of the conversation, I found mostly educated white women standing up and advocating for a change to the dominant racist ideologies at work against the Asian male.
Asian men, bros, let me have your attention for a moment. I don’t need to tell you about the discrimination, you’re living in it. You have to act if you want change. It’s a hostile environment, but the ladies are leading the charge, kicking all kinds of ass, and you’re not helping enough. So don’t think of it in terms of modesty, privacy, or hassle; think of it in terms of picking up a fair share of the work that we all agree needs to be done. Write your experiences. They are worthwhile.
The Big Bad Racial Stereotype – Real Talk
My first post, discussing the absurdity of radicalized biology is something of an overview of subjects I’d delve into more.
Some white communities spent resources trying to reinforce it. People tend to support those claims which profit them, here in mate selection and social standing. Put simply, there is good reason to question the claims of men about other potential partners. …The one fact we should all keep in mind anytime someone tries to argue for biological determinism is that there is a greater difference in the phenotype within a racial group than between racial groups.
The Distinct Violence of My Asian American Childhood
…, the pain associated with fighting peers was the pain of social isolation. They were reminders that I was not wanted, and that they would not befriend me anyway because I was Chinese. They were acts of public humiliation and social dominance for little primates to practice for when they became big primates.
My sibs and I were targeted, harassed, and assaulted frequently. It was a degrading existence. Once, two bigger boys knocked my sister over from behind (grade school at the time), she hit her head on the concrete, and they scraped her face against it more. She was so embarrassed for weeks as it healed. I was on the losing end more than I wanted to be, and I got hit with rocks and shoes and yelled at for being a “chink” or mistakenly a “gook”. My brother tended to do a little better since most kids knew he had an older brother who fought with him. He took some hard shit too though.
Reblog of SubversiveMommy: Things My Biracial Sons Will Be Asked Because They Look More Asian Than White
Mothers of color worry about these things. We worry about crib sheets too, but we do not have the option to be colorblind in either case.
I’ve even uttered the common refrain that mixed Asian + white kids are just the cutest and always a winning combination to stay status quo. Now that I see my sons look more Asian, have I somehow upheld the racial status quo, or do I work consciously to subvert racial hierarchies?
So I pose the thought: how will perceptions of my biracial sons shape their experiences? What will they be asked throughout their lifetime as perceived Asian men as opposed to white men? The inspiration behind this post came when I read an account of this white father who shared (In light of the emerging mass protests against the murders of unarmed black men at the hands of police officers.) what he could do as a white man that his black son may not have so easily accessible to him. And this reporter who penned a letter to her daughter to prepare her for the inevitable experiences with discrimination, captured the melancholy of racism. Then what about these twin sisters, one white and one black but twinnies nonetheless!
I already guess that by teenagers, most Asian boys growing up today will feel at some point (and from then on) humiliated – that they might as well not have a penis or feelings of sexuality. That there is only shame and spectacle when they venture to express themselves publicly reinforces isolation. Loneliness.
Mom wonders why I don’t want children. It isn’t selfishness, really… it’s the kindest thing I can do for any future sons.