Yeah, can we talk about this?
It’s raw. Very direct.
I already guess that by teenagers, most Asian boys growing up today will feel at some point (and from then on) humiliated – that they might as well not have a penis or feelings of sexuality. That there is only shame and spectacle when they venture to express themselves publicly reinforces isolation. Loneliness.
Mom wonders why I don’t want children. It isn’t selfishness, really… it’s the kindest thing I can do for any future sons.
My biracial sons are turning out to be quite Asian looking. I can’t help but wonder what life would be like for them had they looked more white, like their dad. I won’t lie and say, while these babies were growing in my belly, that I hadn’t hoped that they would come out a racial melange. What if they looked straight Chinese, like me?
As they get bigger each day, it is becoming more and more apparent that they look like two cute little Asian boys.
Boy, did we miss something BIG here? Did my sons miss the chance to snag the coveted golden ticket of whiteness?! So close yet so far?! Did they win the ticket to the chocolate factory but forget to wake up in time for the tour?
Edit: If I ever imagined I’d be spitting such tragic colonial rhetoric, I would…
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