Maybe it’s all these excellent articles and perspectives I’ve been exposed to lately, but I’ve got Asian male interracial coupling on the mind – AMWF, AMWW, AMBF, AMXF, etc.
I want to discuss culturally dependent expressions of gender and love (of all kinds) for a moment. If it provides any insight into my thoughts, I was raised by working poor immigrant parents who settled in a largely white and black part of the country. I was the first Asian person many people met. I didn’t know very many other Chinese kids. Anyway, it’s weird to have this split life in terms of learning to express yourself. No one tells you that in addition to the linguistic problems (having to learn English through the public school system) there are two different cultural languages. It’s easy to miss this nuance as a young person. It’s easy to miss this nuance, period.
Now I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I express only one opinion in a diverse field of reasonable opinions. I’m one Asian American guy, and I’m a spokesman for no one.
My good friend, she is a white woman, summed up cultural language and emotional language, over bagels. Responding to my prompt over the perceived lack of expression by Asian guys in the romantic context, she said, “You just have to figure out what language of love they’re speaking.” She’s into Asian men, and finds that if women keyed into the subtext a little more, they’d find a whole lot of romance and sexiness going on with Asian American men.
That at made sense to me. I know a lot of Asian bros who were raised in households where doing something was valued over saying something to express love. It’s not wrong, it’s different. This earnest culturally influenced expression got lost in translation.
Maybe with some ladies I am more shy for whatever reason, but when I’m offering a blanket, I am trying to “say” things like “I am thinking about you,” and “I like to see you warm and smiling.” Thank goodness I am have a Ph.D. in Direct Pervertological Science, and I’m always direct about applied research.
I’ll be talking about those adventures soon.
Anyway, I think other Asian guys should just put their voices out there… In their lives, online or otherwise. And I think we should all pay attention to the little expressions of love we get from all over every day.